happy

Being happy with the present is one thing that I strive for.  It wasn't always easy to do.  For about the past 5 years we lived in a state of temporary.  Living in Michigan was temporary.  Living in Boston was temporary. I was extremely happy in Michigan.  We couldn't have had more fun or have met more fantastic people.  It was a 10 on a scale of 1 to 10.  Living in Boston was overwhelming at times, but cool.  I have zero regrets that we moved there.  It was clearly good for my fertility....  Boston is where we became parents and for that, it was also a 10.  While all good.  Temporary.  You know you will one day leave your friends, grocery store, favorite restaurant, etc.....  It causes anxiety to think about when and where we move.  It made me sad to think about those that we left behind.  It always feels really good to just enjoy where you and what you have at the present time.  Be thankful.  Be at peace. Be happy.
These words really sang to me.  It's true.  It's good stuff.

Jack

Jack,

You are over 2 1/2, but I wanted to write to you when you turned 2 1/2 so here goes.
Can I just tell you that at this rate I think you are going to be way smarter than me by kindergarten?  My love, you are smart.  Sometimes you say things and your Dad and I look at each other like, what?!  To be fair, we do read to you like our life depends on it, but because you love it.  If we get 6 books to read to you and you seem tired after 5, you remind us that we still have one more book to read.  We only have to tell you one time what something is and then you can tell us.  It might be a week later and we'll be looking a page and you will tell us, "that's an octagon".  The other day you counted to 5 in Spanish.  Then counted backwards from 10.  Unprompted, and I have never counted backwards with you.  Your little brain never stops. 
I absolutely adore you.  You are so very sweet.  You give me a hug and kiss every morning and ask me how I slept.  You kiss your brother 3 hundred times a day and will do anything to make him laugh.  He adores you.  I love it how you still snuggle in at naptime for stories.  I love it that recently I was crying about something that happened to Ace and you came running in to 'kiss it and make it all better'. 
You LOVE preschool.  You know every turn I need to make to get us there.  When we are driving there you will tell me... "this way..." and point right or left.  When you finally see the building...you start clapping and laughing.  Walking you to your door is one of my biggest joys.  I am forever grateful to be able to take you and pick you up every Tuesday and Thursday morning.  Your teachers are Mrs. Debbie and Mrs. Leann.  Charlie is your buddy and you know every classmates name.  We are so proud of you.  I also love that you hug me when I pick up and kiss "baby Matt". 
I can't begin to explain your love for Dora the Explorer.  You ask to watch Dora all day.  I let you watch 2-3 episodes and when I start it, you get SO EXCITED.  I love how you say Dora.  I can feel your excitement. 
You LOVE anything with wheels.  Trucks. Cars. Trains. Construction vehicles.... I think you've already put about 1,000 miles on your matchbox cars.  Good Night, Good Night Construction Site is your favorite book. 
You've become a picker eater than I would like, but you are very good about eating healthy things so I can't really complain.  You love eggs, all fruit, cheese, hummus, greek yogurt and fruit snacks.  You also really like ice cream.  You are my child. :)
While you are wonderful in my eyes.... you must also know that you can drive me insane sometimes.  You have a wild side.  You can be loud.  You don't always listen the first time or second.  You almost always do by the third, but sometimes I just wish you would listen the first time.  You can be stubborn about your socks (of all things...).  You have dump truck socks and you freak if you have to take them off....you've even watched them go around in the washer and then go running when you hear the ding of the dryer ending to get them.  You are two.  You are not terrible, but you are two and slightly challenging at times.  It's okay, it's what I signed up for. 
A few weeks ago you told us that you think your balloon went to China.  You told me that your train was broken and it needed batteries.  Then went to where we keep the batteries, got two and told me you needed a screwdriver.....  We passed a tire store the other day and you told me that all those cars were on risers getting new tires. 
I love you sweetheart.  I cannot wait to see what you are up to by your 3rd birthday. 
Stay sweet.  Stay innocent.  And, please...stay happy.
xo,
Mom

Matt, 6 months

Dear Matt,

You're 6 months old.  In one way it does seem like 6 months ago we had you, but in other ways it feels like you've always been a part of this family.  Remembering life without you is hard.  You continue to be a sweet, sweet baby.  Honestly, you've never kept us up all night (you've had a few rough nights, but never ALL night).  You smile easily and your laugh is addictive.  Jack LOVES to make you laugh.  You only cry between bites of food or when your bottle is empty.  You've had green beans, peas, carrots, pumpkin, plum, peaches and bananas.  You love it all.  Your taking a bottle about 4 times day.  We went to the doctor today and found out you weigh 23.4 pounds and you are 28 inches long.  Off the charts.  Your two bottom teeth are trying to break through and it leaves you drooling and wanting to put EVERYTHING in your mouth.  You are sitting up all by yourself and you love to play in your jumperoo and with certain toys.  Your hair is too much.  It's growing in like a mohawk.  I sometimes spike it and you look adorable :). 
We are in the middle of trying to raise money for Cincinnati Children's Hospital.  They have an annual walk and we have a team, Giving Pease a Chance.  We are doing a great job raising money and we are so excited to walk with our family and friends to celebrate Cincinnati Childrens and the Little Hearts Institute. 
I love you so very much.  Life with you, Jack and your daddy is sweet.  These days mean the world to me.  I am so thankful to spend all day with you and be the one that gets to get up from your naps and see that smile.  Can't wait to see what you accomplish this month. 

All my love,
Mom

some days...

Some days are better than others....it's this way in everything.  School, relationships, motherhood, friendships, everything....   I am having one of those days where everything is just fine.  It isn't even a challenging day with the kids..., but I am feeling a little down.  For some reason I am missing Boston and our life there.  I guess it might be the time of year. I am missing walking around our neighborhood.  Fall is the best. I miss Payson Park & Elisabeth. I miss my Perkins.  I miss my mama friends and those sweet little babes that I've known since they were a few weeks old.  I miss the schedule Brian had there.  We had more time together.  We had a routine.  Here...he works all the time.  All the time.  It's been a constant chain of events since we moved here and I don't feel like we have our routine yet.  We'll get there.  We left Boston on my birthday last year...it's almost been a year.  It was about this time last year that I found out we where moving back to Ohio.  I was thrilled.  And, I am happy to be here.  Like I said, it's just one of those days....

Ogunquit, Maine...JHP's first birthday

Ogunquit, Maine

The kiddos almost 2 years old

Woodstock, VT

JHP on Acron Street

Hayride near Crane Beach

JHP at Skyview Park

the babes in our great beginnings class about 2 months old

Maine

gender reveal via skype--it's a boy! :)

weekend recap

it was a great weekend.  zoo. shopping. family. birthdays. baptism. long car ride with my family. 
these little faces...

ideas...

my next house project is creating desk space for myself.  some inspiration....

love the thought of using a wallpaper background.  not loving this one, but i can think of a few prints that i would love to use.

enough is enough

I accept this to be true.  It's hard to believe this while going through something, but once I am through it I can usually make sense of why something happened.  Until now.  I just can't wrap my head around everything that has happened with Matt.  All the emergency room trips (complete with a 911 ambulance ride from the doctors office...), x-rays, ultrasounds... that have been for absolutely no reason.... it's hard for me to be frustrated about this because I know that everyone is just looking out for his best interest, but if I am being honest... I am frustrated.  I am ready to move forward, put the scares and drama behind us.  We had to have an ultrasound today to make sure that there isn't water in his brain (???).  The little dude has a big head.  So does his brother.  His mother.  His father.  His nieces, nephews, grandpas......  The ultrasound confirmed that his brain is normal.  Big surprise. I suppose this has all happened for a reason and I suppose that one day I'll understand, but for now I don't and if another doctor sends us to the ER or refers us to another specialist...I might punch them in the face.

weekend recap

my 15 year class reunion happened this past weekend.  a few classmates and i planned it and we had a good turnout.  overall, i think everyone had a nice time.  there is something about being home and seeing everyone that i grew up with that makes me excited to think about jack & matt growing up and having a stable childhood.  with brian's job there is always a chance that we might have to move, but i hope not.  i loved looking around that room and seeing faces that i've known since 1983.  i love that i know their parents and even grandparents.  there is something comfortable in that.  while a lot has changed, somethings never change. thank goodness for that.

Slade, Jake, Bradie, Ryan & me

Sarah, Christy, Josh & his girlfriend



Stef & Ryan

matt, 5 months

Dear Matt,

You just turned 5 months old.  You are beyond adorable and so very sweet.  I look at you sometimes and just can't believe that you're mine.  I am so lucky to be your mama.  The truth is, my face often hurts when I put you down for your naps because all we've been doing is smiling at one another.  You're smile is cute.  You and your brother adore each other.  I know that over the years you guys will have your moments, but I hold out a lot of hope that you will be close.  He LOVES you. 
Here's what you've been up to...
- you're eating solids! :)  you are like a little bird.  your mouth is open as soon as you swallow.
-you are sleeping a solid 10 hours a night--thank you, sweetheart!
-you take 2-3 naps a day and they are usually 2-3 hours. 
-you are rolling over from your back to your front.  at first you didn't like that, but lately you're cool with it and just fall asleep on your belly.  so cute!
-you laugh at jack a lot and you sometimes think your dad and i are funny too, but mostly jack. 
-i'd say your favorite toy is an orange ball that you shake. 
-you LOVE your jumperoo and if I say, jump, jump...you do.  like a crazy baby. 
-you're a big boy sweetheart... you weigh 22 pounds at 5 months.  totally off the charts.

i love you so much.

landscaping

we bought a house that was fully landscaped and we were excited to have landscaping...we bought our house in the fall.  as spring sprung so did our one million plants & flowers in said landscaping.  we realized somethings were overgrown (out of control overgrown) and some trees were dead.  this realization caused us to rip out ALL of the landscaping and have tree cut down.  who would've known it costs a small fortune to replace everything we ripped out.. not smart on our end....  we are slowly making progress and it's starting to look good.  it's funny, i know i am simple in most aspects and it turns out that i am the same way in landscaping.  we had landscapers draw up these impressive plans with beautiful designs, but i found myself thinking... boxwoods... hydrangaes.....and that's about it.  whatever.  i guess that makes it easy.  boring, maybe?  i like what i like....

home sweet home

Matt is on a napping schedule.  I like having him on a timed nap schedule.  He wakes up around 7am, then takes his first nap around 9am and another at 1pm.  The 9am nap is usually around 2 hours and the 1pm is typically 2-3 hours.  I love that he sleeps so well and that he has taken to his schedule so easily, but it leaves little time for me to get out of the house... Jack also naps at 1pm and he naps for about 2.5 hours. At first I felt confined, but recently I am seeing the benefits of slowing down.  I've had time to get the bills paid, the laundry done and dinner started without feeling overwhelmed or stress AND still have time to actually get on the floor and play with Jack & read/sing to Matt.  It's good stuff. Now, I just need to figure out a schedule for me.  I would really like to start running again.  I would also like to start doing Tracy Anderson again.  The goal is start being dedicated to exercise and finding a way to fit it in to our new 'schedule'. 

matt: starting solids

Well... it's happening.  My baby is growing up.  We started giving him cereal and he loves it.  He's so cute with it, as soon as he swallows--his mouth is open again.  He's like a little bird.

weekend recap

Spending time with my sister & her family is always fun.  I love it and we don't get to do it enough.  We went to see Aerosmith.  Steven Tyler was amazing and it was obvious that he is totally in his element performing.  An added bonus - two drunk guys in the row in front of us.  They were totally rocked and so funny to watch.  :)

The rest of the weekend went like this..... eat amazing peanut butter pie.  eat amazing blueberry pie with homemade icecream....eat. eat. eat.... my brother in law is an amazing cook & baker.  God love him, but goodness.. it's time to stop eating dessert!  :)

strawberry lemon cake

So good!  Bonus... it has protein thanks to the greek yogurt!

Recipe: Fresh Strawberry Yogurt Cake

Ingredients

• 1 cup (2 sticks) butter, softened
• 2 cups sugar
• 3 eggs
• 3 Tb. lemon juice, divided
• Zest of 1 lemon
• 2 ½ cups all-purpose flour, divided
• ½ tsp. baking soda
• ½ tsp. salt
• 8 oz. plain or vanilla, Greek yogurt
• 12 oz. fresh strawberries, diced
• 1 cup powdered sugar

Instructions

1. Preheat oven to 325*. Grease and flour a 10 inch Bundt pan (10-15 cup pan.) Sift together the 2 ¼ cups of flour, baking soda and salt. Mix in the lemon zest and set aside.
2. With an electric mixer, cream together the butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Beat in the eggs one at a time, then stir in 1 Tb. lemon juice. Alternate beating in the flour mixture and the yogurt, mixing just until incorporated.
3. Toss the strawberries with the remaining ¼ cup of flour. Gently mix them into the batter.
4. Pour the batter into the Bundt pan. Bake in the preheated oven for 60 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center of the cake comes out clean.
5. Allow to cool at least 20 minutes in the pan, then turn out onto a wire rack and cool completely. Once cooled whisk together the remaining 2 Tb. of lemon juice and the powdered sugar. Drizzle over the top of the cake.

Road Trip

Tomorrow morning we are leaving for TN.  My sister and I are going to see Aerosmith and we are super excited.  I've always loved Aerosmith's music, but once Steven Tyler became a judge on American Idol it made me love Aerosmith even more.  He is such a nice guy.

Road trips are fun.  This is the longest drive we've taken with Matt.  I have full confidence that he'll do great.  If he doesn't.... it's only a 5 hour trip so we can survive it.  Hopefully, the iPad and Sophie keep them entertained!

Matt's Story

Our experience with Cincinnati Children’s Hospital began on Tuesday, March 6th, 2012. Our son Matthew was 3 days old and had just been diagnosed with a congenital heart disease. We were scared and anxious about what this meant for our new little boy. Matt had a condition called Coarctation of the Aorta, meaning that there was a narrowing in his aorta which was restricting normal blood flow.The tremendous staff at Children’s was able to explain clearly what the diagnosis meant and what we were to expect. To learn more about coarctation, please visit this link http://www.cincinnatichildrens.org/health/c/coarctation/). We spent 2 days in the Cardiac Intensive Care Unit (CICU) and were discharged with the plan to closely monitor this with his cardiologist and to have surgery to repair the narrowing in 4-6 months when he was a little older. We were thrilled to be taking our little boy home and to begin as a family of four. 

Three days later, on Sunday, March 11th, Cincinnati Children’s Hospital saved Matt’s life. On that Sunday morning his breathing became labored and it was clear that he was struggling to breathe. We raced to Cincinnati Children’s ER. Matt was immediately rushed to a trauma bay and within seconds, had more than 15 doctors and nurses working on him. We were not allowed to go past a red line on the floor and had to watch our little boy be put on a ventilator and have many IVs and tubes inserted into him. Needless to say, we have never been more frightened in our lives. The amazing staff at Cincinnati Children’s helped us cope with this traumatizing experience and within minutes of arriving we had a pastor, a patient care representative and a cardiologist standing with us offering water, tissues and a clear explanation of what was happening to our little boy. 

We quickly learned that he was in very critical condition. The narrowing in his aorta had gotten dangerously worse and was severely restricting his blood flow, now causing his major organs to start shutting down. The incredible ER staff was able to stabilize him and we were taken back to the CICU. More life support systems were initiated and more tests were completed. Meanwhile, a cardiologist continued to stand beside us and explain everything in a confident, yet compassionate manner. Although we had to keep our distance, Matt was never out of our sight and there wasn’t a second that we had to wonder what they were doing to him. It was decided by a team of pediatric cardiologists and a heart surgeon that Matt needed to have surgery that day to repair the narrowing in his aorta. Within a few hours of arriving at the ER, we were walking down a hallway preparing to say, “see you in a little bit” to our 8 day old son before he was pushed through the operating room doors to have heart surgery. It was surreal, and a moment we will never forget. The surgery was expected to take 2-3 hours. With our parents at our side, we waited and waited until a nurse came to tell us that the surgery was over and that it was a success! Amen. 

After the surgery we knew that the road to recovery was going to take time and that there could be complications, but we were so thankful and relieved that his aorta was repaired and that the healing could begin. 

The staff at Cincinnati Children’s Hospital in the Heart Institute was nothing short of amazing. We were there for 9 days. While it was not easy, it was the best experience that it could have been thanks to our nurses, doctors and other caregivers. When a small complication arose, we will never forget the cardiologist who confidently looked us in the eye and said, “He is going to be okay. He’s going to go home, do the same things his brother can do, be a normal teenager, play football, and one day eat a whole pizza by himself.” Her confidence and ability to make us remember the big picture was exactly what we needed at that moment. Another time, Brian and I had gone outside to take a walk after a hard day and getting some slightly undesired news. When we returned from our walk, our nurse (Heather) had taken Matt off of the ventilator, which meant that after 3 days—we could hold our baby! Again, it was exactly what we needed at that moment. There are many examples of moments like these. Moments when the doctors or nurses without knowing it, totally met our needs and reassured us that everything was going to be okay. 

On Tuesday, March 20th, we brought our little guy home to hang out with his big brother, Jack. We had a rough start, but we were finally together and able to start the journey of being a family of four. Today, Matt is an awesome little guy doing just fine. As I write this, he is 4 months old and weighing a little over 20 pounds. He is surpassing his cardiologists’ expectations. He is fine and has zero limitations. He doesn’t have to take any medication. He only has to follow up with his cardiologist a few times a year and eventually that will decrease. We are very blessed. 

With Love, 

Alissa and Brian 

Please help us in our fundraising efforts.  Here is a link to my fundraising webpage: http://giving.cincinnatichildrens.org/netcommunity/alissapease

to donate with a credit card, please do it online.

to donate with a check, please make the check payable to Cincinnati Children's Hospital Medical Center

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!

preschool day hooray

Jack starts preschool in about a month.  Is this really happening?  I think I am partly in denial. I just ordered this book for him.  It's going to be fun to read it him and get him excited for his first day of school and it will be his excitement that will make this easier on mama.