happy

Being happy with the present is one thing that I strive for.  It wasn't always easy to do.  For about the past 5 years we lived in a state of temporary.  Living in Michigan was temporary.  Living in Boston was temporary. I was extremely happy in Michigan.  We couldn't have had more fun or have met more fantastic people.  It was a 10 on a scale of 1 to 10.  Living in Boston was overwhelming at times, but cool.  I have zero regrets that we moved there.  It was clearly good for my fertility....  Boston is where we became parents and for that, it was also a 10.  While all good.  Temporary.  You know you will one day leave your friends, grocery store, favorite restaurant, etc.....  It causes anxiety to think about when and where we move.  It made me sad to think about those that we left behind.  It always feels really good to just enjoy where you and what you have at the present time.  Be thankful.  Be at peace. Be happy.
These words really sang to me.  It's true.  It's good stuff.

Jack

Jack,

You are over 2 1/2, but I wanted to write to you when you turned 2 1/2 so here goes.
Can I just tell you that at this rate I think you are going to be way smarter than me by kindergarten?  My love, you are smart.  Sometimes you say things and your Dad and I look at each other like, what?!  To be fair, we do read to you like our life depends on it, but because you love it.  If we get 6 books to read to you and you seem tired after 5, you remind us that we still have one more book to read.  We only have to tell you one time what something is and then you can tell us.  It might be a week later and we'll be looking a page and you will tell us, "that's an octagon".  The other day you counted to 5 in Spanish.  Then counted backwards from 10.  Unprompted, and I have never counted backwards with you.  Your little brain never stops. 
I absolutely adore you.  You are so very sweet.  You give me a hug and kiss every morning and ask me how I slept.  You kiss your brother 3 hundred times a day and will do anything to make him laugh.  He adores you.  I love it how you still snuggle in at naptime for stories.  I love it that recently I was crying about something that happened to Ace and you came running in to 'kiss it and make it all better'. 
You LOVE preschool.  You know every turn I need to make to get us there.  When we are driving there you will tell me... "this way..." and point right or left.  When you finally see the building...you start clapping and laughing.  Walking you to your door is one of my biggest joys.  I am forever grateful to be able to take you and pick you up every Tuesday and Thursday morning.  Your teachers are Mrs. Debbie and Mrs. Leann.  Charlie is your buddy and you know every classmates name.  We are so proud of you.  I also love that you hug me when I pick up and kiss "baby Matt". 
I can't begin to explain your love for Dora the Explorer.  You ask to watch Dora all day.  I let you watch 2-3 episodes and when I start it, you get SO EXCITED.  I love how you say Dora.  I can feel your excitement. 
You LOVE anything with wheels.  Trucks. Cars. Trains. Construction vehicles.... I think you've already put about 1,000 miles on your matchbox cars.  Good Night, Good Night Construction Site is your favorite book. 
You've become a picker eater than I would like, but you are very good about eating healthy things so I can't really complain.  You love eggs, all fruit, cheese, hummus, greek yogurt and fruit snacks.  You also really like ice cream.  You are my child. :)
While you are wonderful in my eyes.... you must also know that you can drive me insane sometimes.  You have a wild side.  You can be loud.  You don't always listen the first time or second.  You almost always do by the third, but sometimes I just wish you would listen the first time.  You can be stubborn about your socks (of all things...).  You have dump truck socks and you freak if you have to take them off....you've even watched them go around in the washer and then go running when you hear the ding of the dryer ending to get them.  You are two.  You are not terrible, but you are two and slightly challenging at times.  It's okay, it's what I signed up for. 
A few weeks ago you told us that you think your balloon went to China.  You told me that your train was broken and it needed batteries.  Then went to where we keep the batteries, got two and told me you needed a screwdriver.....  We passed a tire store the other day and you told me that all those cars were on risers getting new tires. 
I love you sweetheart.  I cannot wait to see what you are up to by your 3rd birthday. 
Stay sweet.  Stay innocent.  And, please...stay happy.
xo,
Mom

Matt, 6 months

Dear Matt,

You're 6 months old.  In one way it does seem like 6 months ago we had you, but in other ways it feels like you've always been a part of this family.  Remembering life without you is hard.  You continue to be a sweet, sweet baby.  Honestly, you've never kept us up all night (you've had a few rough nights, but never ALL night).  You smile easily and your laugh is addictive.  Jack LOVES to make you laugh.  You only cry between bites of food or when your bottle is empty.  You've had green beans, peas, carrots, pumpkin, plum, peaches and bananas.  You love it all.  Your taking a bottle about 4 times day.  We went to the doctor today and found out you weigh 23.4 pounds and you are 28 inches long.  Off the charts.  Your two bottom teeth are trying to break through and it leaves you drooling and wanting to put EVERYTHING in your mouth.  You are sitting up all by yourself and you love to play in your jumperoo and with certain toys.  Your hair is too much.  It's growing in like a mohawk.  I sometimes spike it and you look adorable :). 
We are in the middle of trying to raise money for Cincinnati Children's Hospital.  They have an annual walk and we have a team, Giving Pease a Chance.  We are doing a great job raising money and we are so excited to walk with our family and friends to celebrate Cincinnati Childrens and the Little Hearts Institute. 
I love you so very much.  Life with you, Jack and your daddy is sweet.  These days mean the world to me.  I am so thankful to spend all day with you and be the one that gets to get up from your naps and see that smile.  Can't wait to see what you accomplish this month. 

All my love,
Mom

some days...

Some days are better than others....it's this way in everything.  School, relationships, motherhood, friendships, everything....   I am having one of those days where everything is just fine.  It isn't even a challenging day with the kids..., but I am feeling a little down.  For some reason I am missing Boston and our life there.  I guess it might be the time of year. I am missing walking around our neighborhood.  Fall is the best. I miss Payson Park & Elisabeth. I miss my Perkins.  I miss my mama friends and those sweet little babes that I've known since they were a few weeks old.  I miss the schedule Brian had there.  We had more time together.  We had a routine.  Here...he works all the time.  All the time.  It's been a constant chain of events since we moved here and I don't feel like we have our routine yet.  We'll get there.  We left Boston on my birthday last year...it's almost been a year.  It was about this time last year that I found out we where moving back to Ohio.  I was thrilled.  And, I am happy to be here.  Like I said, it's just one of those days....

Ogunquit, Maine...JHP's first birthday

Ogunquit, Maine

The kiddos almost 2 years old

Woodstock, VT

JHP on Acron Street

Hayride near Crane Beach

JHP at Skyview Park

the babes in our great beginnings class about 2 months old

Maine

gender reveal via skype--it's a boy! :)

weekend recap

it was a great weekend.  zoo. shopping. family. birthdays. baptism. long car ride with my family. 
these little faces...

ideas...

my next house project is creating desk space for myself.  some inspiration....

love the thought of using a wallpaper background.  not loving this one, but i can think of a few prints that i would love to use.

enough is enough

I accept this to be true.  It's hard to believe this while going through something, but once I am through it I can usually make sense of why something happened.  Until now.  I just can't wrap my head around everything that has happened with Matt.  All the emergency room trips (complete with a 911 ambulance ride from the doctors office...), x-rays, ultrasounds... that have been for absolutely no reason.... it's hard for me to be frustrated about this because I know that everyone is just looking out for his best interest, but if I am being honest... I am frustrated.  I am ready to move forward, put the scares and drama behind us.  We had to have an ultrasound today to make sure that there isn't water in his brain (???).  The little dude has a big head.  So does his brother.  His mother.  His father.  His nieces, nephews, grandpas......  The ultrasound confirmed that his brain is normal.  Big surprise. I suppose this has all happened for a reason and I suppose that one day I'll understand, but for now I don't and if another doctor sends us to the ER or refers us to another specialist...I might punch them in the face.